Matt & Chris are both a year older than they were last week, so they decide to pull up Assassin’s Creed III for Wii U to reminisce on the good ol’ days when Nintendo consoles were the size of compact cars, and then play a round of Trivia Murder Party with viewers that ends with a bang.

Transcript: But it's got to be clear, it's a war we're fighting across our land. It's here right now, so let's take a stand. We're the LA Lakers and we're here to stay. The drugs are killing every day. Cocaine and crack, it's all got to go. We got to learn to just let go. I'm Kareem, the captain of the team. I don't need drugs, I got a higher thing. My sky hook makes a team look good, but there's a hook we gotta shake from the neighborhood. My name is Weston, on the court, I'm rough Out here on the street, we all gotta get tough Say no to drugs, call the drug man's bluff You call me spread, I give my team my best When you really care, you can do no less But the game of life's more serious Cause drugs make business a ballpark My name is Michael, but they call me cool We play hard, but we still play smart. We never let drugs tear us apart. I'm AC Green with the word. You can't win the game with your vision blurred. Train your child the way to go. And when the drug man comes, he'll say no. I'm firing sky with the jump shot. I like the idea of being on top and the tops in reach of every man. If drugs aren't in his master plan. I'm Kurt Ramis. They call me Superman and I'm known to give a helping hand. Now there's a rival out there on the street. We all got to work together to be. We're the top, but we're no relation and we stand together. Just say no to drugs Just say no Just say no to drugs Just say no, just say no to drugs I'm Adrian Preston in the stands Against the joke, I give no one a chance So let's cut the crack man's money back And tell him to hit the road Just say no, just say no to drugs I'm a magic man with the Midas touch Gotta play the right way to keep on moving up It seems our lives cost more each day But drugs are the price I care for the people We don't need drugs to make us bold. We can dribble, shoot, and slam dunk. You can win too without that jump. Just say no. Just say no to drugs. My name is Pat, coach of the team that saved my place, really do the thing, so I'm here to tell you the best play of all, say no to drugs because life is a ball, ball, ball. I'm on a roll. Get it right. There's only one life in the middle of life. I was driving down the road just the other day Saw another car, speed my way Boom, we crashed, the doctor says we're blessed If you've ever been injured in an accident Call Flint, one-eight-hundred-nine-four-flint Attorney Bruce Flint, Attorney Bruce Flint Insurance company ain't about to pay Can't believe they would treat me this way Call Bruce Flint, without delay If you've ever been injured in an accident Call Flint, one-eight-hundred-nine-four-flint If you're looking to buy yourself the right car, come to Trophy in Mesquite, we're not too far. We got Nissan cars and trucks, so don't be shy. You can buy them from a lady. You can buy them from a guy. At Trophy, Trophy, Trophy Nissan. Trophy Nissan's the place to buy. You can get them real cheap, we're never too high. The best parts, service, financing too. We got everything to take care of you. At Trophy, Trophy, Trophy Nissan. Hey, everybody, have you heard the news? There's a back-to-school sale at Payless for you. Yeah, they got what you need when the summer ends. Like pencils and notebooks, crayons and pens, watercolors, bookings, tube socks and shoes, scissors and erasers, anything you choose. Lunchboxes, pencil boxes, notebook paper, glue, typewriters, calculators, tape recorders, too. Even got a scooter. Gotta get the best. You're gonna get more, but you're gonna pay less. So what's the best part about back-to-school? It's a back-to-school sale at Payless. Ford, Honda, Chevy, Beamers, and minivans, over six hundred cars, trucks, SUVs, are you listening man? Let Eastern Motors put you in a car today. Let Eastern Motors finance it all the way. Your mother and I have to talk to you. It's important. Marijuana. The wacky weed. It is bad. Of this I know. Believe your dad. Remember this. It's your decision. But marijuana can lead to prison. Any way you choose to talk with your kids about drugs is a good way. Call for your free brochure. My name is Cecil. I'll sell you gas or diesel cars on my lot. Some of them new, some of them not. I got a tricked out crew. They got one job to do. Tend to your needs, take good care. Make sure they treat you honest and fair. So many deals far and above. One of these babies you're sure to love. Come find a car and we'll do our part. Cause I'm Cecil Myers, the dealer with a heart. Here at Ray's Mid-Bell Music in Sioux City, Iowa, we know that being in the band isn't always easy. That's why we've prepared this poem of encouragement. There's a rumor going around school that only athletes and cheerleaders are cool. They say if you're in the band, you're a loser to the max. Whether you play the trumpet, clarinet, or even the sax. Well, we don't agree. In fact, we say that what they're saying is a bunch of bullshit. Band is awesome. Band's the new trend. Band's your best chance for making friends. You're not the star quarterback. So what? Be glad your brain is bigger than a walnut. You don't have a tan. You can't do a split. But you got self-respect and a valve for your spit. But that's a sacrifice worth making to play the sousaphone. Grab your instruments. Take a stand. Be proud to be in the band. We be chillin'. We know what you want. Cause we know how you live. We got the big bad. It's somethin' about the girl that just makes my head wanna twirl You got me want to tell all them other girls There's nothin' else better on this world The more I've seen her, I wasn't shocked So shocked at the things that I've just been shot, shot down right now And it's fine, but too bad this hasn't happened in life Oh yeah, you got me feeling lots of me on top, on top of you What do you want? We're sweating a lot, a lot Time will come before we will have to stop That she's not into that stuff a lot Oh man, she's just super hot And the guy said that it's right on top of my head So maybe she knows, so I have to stop I asked her questions that I had to stop She said that she wants to take it slow I'm not that type of guy, I'll let you know when I see it I'm not that type of guy, I'll let you know When I see a real light, all I know is ghost Show me your moves that make you such a pro Oh, bro, I be the one that I want to know Oh, yeah, girl, I'ma let you know You're the one that I really need That I'm claiming you're mine Yeah, that's what's going on this time I will put my life on the line Just let me the one to call you mine Now, I'm picking up the phone just to call your line Because, baby, you're on my mind You said you want to take it slow I'm not that slow This is how we do it. It's Friday night. I feel all right. The party's here on the west side. So I reach for my Audi and I turn it up. Designated driver, take the keys to my truck. Hit the show cause I'm faded. Honey's in the street, save money and we made it. It feels so good in my hood tonight. The summer turns good. All the guys, they can eye. All the gangbangers forgot about the drive-by. Gotta get your groove on before you go get paid So tip up your cup and put your hands up And let me hear the party say I'm kinda buzzed and it's all because This is how we do it South Central does it like nobody does This is how we do it To all my neighbors you get much favor This is how we do it Let's tip the track of the old school bag This is how we do it This is how we do it. Our hands are in the air. You're waving from here to there. You're an OG man, boy, I want to be player. See, the hood's been good to me ever since I was a lowercase g. I know I'm the big G. The girls see I've got the money. Hundred dollar bills, y'all. If you were from where I'm from, then you would know that I got to get mine in a big black truck. You can get yours in a six-ball. Whatever it is, the party's underwear. So tip up your cup and put your hands up. I remember the old days. I remember the old days. I remember the old days. Let's have a party I think we'll have a party now Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. Oh. Look, a scorpion and other things. Why, it's not a tomb at all. It's an adorable one-bedroom apartment. Let me in there. I'd love to push on my cheeks. Both of them. There, thank you. What on earth is it? Well, that's hard to say. Why, these are lenses of a sort. They're probably a fused quartz of some kind. Well, if this is the dreaded secret of the Scorpion dynasty, it seems to be quite harmless now. Scorpion shot first. The sunlight seems to have something to do with it. Why? These lenses are adjustable. They're progressives. Thank you, lens crafters. Stop that. It's annoying. You want to read the instructions first? There is Harrison Ford when you need him. No styrofoam was harmed in the making of this film. Coming soon to Weird and Wonderful Wednesday Watchalongs. I think I gambled and sold the devil today by accident. Are you really the devil? Yes, I am. Would you like some soup? This is breaking the rules, you know. I work for the one who makes the rules. What does he plan to do? Who does he think he is anyway? I won't do it. I refuse. What are you talking about? The apocalypse. Armageddon, Armageddon, and Josephette, how may I direct your call? You're on camera. That guy's like, this show fucking sucks. That guy's on our side. Oh, look, the little platform turns. They made this whole set to show that garbage. I love this guy, though. Yes, sir. Skibbity-bibbity-bop-a-bop-a-boop-bop-ay. Crankin' guys with the hot dogs. Skibbity-bop-ay. Old ladies hitting people with a broom. Skibbity-bibbity-bop-a-boop-bop-boop-boop-a-boop-boop. Oh, my God. Please. I'm here, bitches. It's Yeti time. The Yeti's such a natural showman. Look at him. Mr. Yeti, we hear you're dating Victoria Principal. Is that true? Oh, he's so hot. Yeti not mad. Yeti just disappointed. Yeti only takes pictures for charity. No more flashes, please! Please don't! Keeps forgetting to mention that. Yet he only do selfies! We've never seen a kaiju corrupted by fame before, this is great. Me want me own sitcom! His ego's bigger than he is now, everybody run! He's lost his mind! He wanted a bigger cut from his tour, he's upset! Success went to his head. He's fired his manager! Get me new agent now! Swing and a miss. oh matt hello hello that was the sound of me forgetting to put the super dumb bros intro into our queue oh well that's all right this is a special unplugged episode of super dumb brothers for those of you Just pretend you saw the intro. Everything's all good. This is like, uh, this is like, uh, stop making sense. You know how it begins with a very deconstructed bare bones live stream. Like, uh, we're, this is our version of that, where we come on and it's like a zoom call basically. And then you watch in person as the show becomes more show-like. This was all planned. It was all planned. This is an artistic statement. Actually. You're all wrong. If you say that this was a mistake. Yeah. The name of this art piece is called Wouldn't Be a Dumb Show Without a Technical Error. Error. Error. Me saying the word error was an error. Error. Error. Error is a hard word when you've been in New England all weekend. I feel like I'm starting to take on the accent. I was hanging out with my girlfriend in Rhode Island this weekend, so I'm slowly becoming a Rhode Islander. I can't pronounce my hard R. Did you learn how to eat lobster? Did you eat any lobster in New England? We didn't eat any lobster. I had some shrimp. I had a couple shrimp. We went to a Japanese restaurant, which I know you can't eat shellfish. And luckily you don't seem to have the desire much to anyway. I am not a big seafood person, but I do love shrimp. I understand that they're bugs, basically, but it's a... So is lobster. I think it's a... Well, that's good that you feel that way because you're allergic to them, so you wouldn't feel that way. Yeah, that's true. That's evolution there, telling your... Your mind's telling you no, but your body is also telling you no. My mind's telling me no, but my body... I probably shouldn't be singing that. Hey, who sings that song? Hi, everybody. Welcome, everyone. Super Dumb Bros. It's Monday. Yay. We're here. We made it. I hope everyone finished their taxes. I realize I have a form I still got to send in. I'm completely done. I paid our demon government last Friday, the day before my birthday. I paid our horrid government. Twenty two hundred dollars. The most taxes in my life. Like, when you get to pay, like, when you have cash and you have to, you pay a bunch of bills and you feel really good after it. When you pay a bunch of taxes, I just feel like shit afterwards, you know? I'm like, ugh. Well, it's good to know that you're not in debt with the government and it's over for another year. I guess. I feel like it's like a like a like a guy with a mace broke into my house and he just like beat me about the head and body and then went on his way. Like it's yes, I'm missing an arm and several fingers and toes, but I can at least now begin to recover and put my life back together because he won't be back again until next year. Yeah, that's how I feel about our government. A giant barbarian that breaks into people's houses and beats them with a mace. Oh, my God. Tom K. State government deducted the payment twice. That would piss me off. Oh. Well, luckily, hopefully you can get that fixed. But yeah, luckily, it seems like there's pretty good proof that that happened and that it shouldn't have. So hopefully you can just send them. Oh my God, Penguin says he was helping his nephew with taxes. Found out he didn't file in twenty twenty three and his work doesn't. Oh my God, that's bad. That means he's going to pay a lot. Well, but here's the good thing, because I was kind of worried about like if I wouldn't have the money. Luckily, thanks to nice people like you. I did have the money to pay all that this year, but I was like looking. And apparently, even if you have back taxes, if you just call the IRS and are like, look, I fucked up. What can we do about it now? They will work with you. Well, they have to or else they're not going to get any money. So it's, you know, it was like my student loans. I fucked up on paying my student loans for forever and I was putting off calling them for so long. And then I finally got them on the whore and they're like, yeah, well, just like, you know, you know, they worked out some stuff with me. Obviously, our student loan forgiveness being retracted by our wonderful government has put the kibosh on a little bit of that. But my moral to all of you, if you're having trouble paying your student loans, this is now a financial podcast. Just give your servicer a call and be like, hey, I can't this month. And they'll just be like, okay, we'll push it down the road two months. You can't turn the interest off, unfortunately. But if you're like me and you've already made peace with the fact that you're never going to have those paid off ever, it's an okay short-term thing if you need it. Exactly. But we're not here to talk about finances tonight. We're here to talk about finances. I've never felt thirty four years old more in my life than coming on here and talking about taxes and student loans. We are going to be playing Assassin's Creed three. I'm trying to get this in a way you can actually see it. Yes, I had this game for Wii U. I played it all the way through, fired it up today for the first time and quite some time earlier today with Matt and realized all my game data is missing. So I had to start from scratch. Yeah. So I played through, like, the tutorial and stuff, so I'm in the game now. Okay, so you don't have to sit through us struggling through, like, learn the jump button and... Exactly. I mean, you're still going to see me struggle with basic, you know, physics and stuff, but... Yeah. Now, what is the story of these games? I know nothing about any of these games. It's like an alternate America where, like, ninjas exist. I don't... It's like a... historical kind of mashup of like, there's like time travel kind of, but you go through this weird portal and you can basically transport to like historical time periods. Okay. So you're like in a, you're like a time travel assassin kind of thing. I guess. I'm a little unclear myself. Because I noticed there's like the revolutionary people and stuff here. So this one obviously takes place during like colonial era. Yes. And I don't know. Maybe the game will explain. I didn't know if this was like a thing where it was like a series where it's like, do you need to know a lot about the other two to get anything out of this? I don't think so. I think it's kind of, yeah. We'll pick it up as we go, hopefully. this one's yeah eighteenth century uh colonial america um and this is like this game is wildly popular they've made like eight thousand iterations there was a movie based on it sorry michael fast bender is supposed to be absolutely awful for a second I thought I I my brain went to prince of persia starring jake gyllenhaal okay it's not why it's not time travel people are correcting me in the chat Someone else want to explain what Assassin's Creed is? Somebody explain what these games are that we're about to play tonight. I know we should have did the research for this. It's our show, but it's Monday. Whatever. I know, but I was like, oh, I played this game ten years ago. I remember it. And now I'm like, what? My game data got deleted? Okay. So. Spyro says you're a Native American assassin. The way he wrote it, though, I read it like that line that Hagrid says to Harry Potter where he's like, you're a wizard, Harry. I'm just picturing Hagrid coming up to someone and be like, you're a Native American assassin, Harry. I'm a what? The other thing, we're going to play a co-op game at the end of tonight. And we're going to do some kind of Jackbox game. Okay. We're going to let you guys vote on it. So I'm going to put that poll in chat right now. Sounds like a plan, Stan. Our options are going to be Quiplash, Gespinage, Trivia Murder Party, or Rift Tracks. The game. So let me put that. I'm going to pin it so everyone can access. Riff tracks the game. Riff tracks the breakfast cereal. Riff tracks the game thrower. Riff Trax, the sequel. And if you'd like to watch tonight's program, thank you everyone for watching on Twitch. We love you. You can subscribe on Twitch, get rid of all those Twitch ads, or you can sign up for the free Super Dumb Bros Super Club over at dumb-industries.com. slash super dumb bros and uh totally ad free to watch and uh if you want to sign up and get the back catalog you can put uh you can sign up for the two dollar a month club that gets you access to the whole back catalog that's right doing this for we're in season three now we've been doing this for like two and a half years there's a lot of content on there a lot Sharp Doggy has a very important question. Do we get to kill the Bancreed in this game? That would be great. That would be an awesome, like, joke game someone could make where you're the assassin and you're chasing, like, Scott's staff through a hallway and you corner him. He's like, I feel angry, I feel helpless. You know, I don't do a good Scott's staff. All right, here. Nemesaur's got a good kind of concise explanation. It uses the idea of genetic memory that you can access memories from your ancestors using sci-fi tech. Like in between levels, you're kind of just like running around in clouds. You'll see. You'll see. You'll all see. And also, if you head to dumb-industries.com slash donation or donate, you can send in a donation of any dollar amount if you desire. And we'll give you a shout out in the form of one of our patented terrible impressions. Matt, we already have a few donations here. oh and someone I don't I don't know if they're watching tonight but someone had mentioned maybe you know because we we'll do an impression we'll do shout out an impression or we'll answer a question you may have or you can challenge us to do something someone was suggesting we do truth or dare I just don't I don't know how that would work because we would have to ask truth or dare Maybe in the comments you can just say... I guess they donate and we can either choose to answer a very sensitive question or we can do a weird thing on the stream, I guess. But that's hard to do because there's a lot of parameters on what you can and can't do as a dare on a stream, I guess. We'll think on it. We'll meditate on this. Put a truth option and put a dare option. And then Matt and I will decide what we're going to do. But we both have to do it. But also, if your request is too crazy, there's, you know... Like Danny suggested, eat your couch. I don't want to eat my couch. I don't know why I looked at my couch like, is it edible? I think there was a lady on My Strange Addiction that ate a couch that was addicted to eating chunks of her couch. And they did the thing where they bring in the gross demonstration. They pour the amount of cushion she's eaten in her life. And she had consumed three entire couches in her life. Because her nervous thing was just picking little pieces of couch off and eating them. And just over the years... Dan Wally just dropped some... horrifying news. Apparently Scott Stapp's brother works for Trump. That makes a lot of sense. Makes sense. Scott Stapp is in the conservative Ronald Reagan movie starring Dennis Quaid. He plays Frank Sinatra in it. I desperately need to see this garbage looking movie. It might have to be the next movies are dumb. Yes, Mandog, do a weird thing on this stream. We will do it. Okay, we already have a few donations. Okay, what we got, what we got, what we got? First one. This one comes from Kristen P. Kristen, thank you. Thanks so much, Kristen. Donkashane. Kristen says, dumb bro's choice is silly as you can make it because boy, do I need the laugh. I think I'm going to raise that, Kristen. We all need a clown to make us smile. That just made me think of that. You know what? Since I just brought that up, I was also going to do Donkashane maybe, but maybe I'll do that for the next one. I suggest you do it. Do it now. That was like if Schwarzenegger was doing a Kissinger. Do it now. Do it now. Just do it. Ken Henry Kissinger doing that Shia LaBeouf Just Do It video from a couple years ago. Just do it. Do it. So here's Gollum singing Donka Shane to you. Donka Shane. Kristen Donka Shane. Thank you for donuts. That line was always weird in Don Cachet, and I didn't write that. Thank you, Kristen. Thank you, Kristen. That was excellent. I hope that that meets your criteria for your donation. Thank you for your patronage. I think we should rename patronage matronage. That's another example of the patriarchy working its way into our language. Oh, I never thought of that. Thank you for your matronage. All right, we got another one here from Lucius. Lucius Fox. Lucius, thank you. Lucius is rising. Lucius has a great suggestion here. Gollum and Palpatine trapped in an elevator together, and after several hours, they begin imitating each other's tics to drive each other crazy. Okay, this could be arranged. So let's cut to seven hours of Palpatine and Gollum. I swear to gods if I has to hear about the Death Star one more time... Silence, you nitwit. I've had enough of your antics. You won't stop farting, and you shoot out electricity occasionally, and it ignites the methane in the air. It's very gross, Preciouses, and you won't shut up about. I am sure very soon your little friends will be out of time when the station's operational. I've had it up to here with your fascination with jewelry. My precious! My precious! Get over it, young lad! You lost your ring, and that's the truth! You're just jealous because you don't have any rules! Everybody with rules knows that dual rule is what makes the rules, preciouses! It's all about the chains and the bling bling, palpy! It's not about, like, uh, me on the dark side and lightning and stupid robeses and... And a robot man, and the sun named Triclops in the books, it's uh... Your loincloth sickens me. You're just jealous of this big old dick. You got a little baby penis probably over there Palpatine, looks like the rest of your face. No, no, no, you do! All right. Let's all take a moment and meditate on what we think Palpatine's penis probably looks like. It's probably pretty rough, right? Confirmed in Rise of Skywalker, Palpatine has sex, okay? Yeah, Palpatine is canonically fucked. Someone has had sex with him after he became a ghoul man, not before. Was it after? Oh, yeah. Had to have been. Yeah. Yeah. Just age wise. Yeah. Wow. I don't know. I guess Rupert Murdoch keeps getting people to have sex with him. It's not impossible. Anyway. Anyway. All right. Thank you so much, Lucius. Thank you. Great idea, Lucius. Good friend, Jackie B. Thank you so much, Jackie. Thank you, Jackie. And thank you for the email, by the way, Jackie. I'm sorry. I'm behind on replying to birthday messages, but I'm going to thank you here. Oh, yeah. Well, Jackie says, happy early birthday, Chris. Thank you, Jackie. Oh, yeah. And Chris's birthday is going to be tomorrow. My birthday is tomorrow and belated birthday, Matt. Oh, thank you so much. Jackie says, how about Randy Newman wants to venture into a new style of music and needs advice from Columbo? All right. Hey there, Mr. Columbo. While you're here investigating this murder in my house, I had a question for you because you look like an appreciator of fine music. Oh, sure, sure. Lay it on me, young man. Yes, I like this. So I'm thinking Randy need a new career change. I was thinking, you know, like I've done kind of that like do ba do ba do ba do poop kind of music. And I did the you got a friend in me kind of music for the Pixar. I'm thinking maybe I'm gonna move into like an electronic music phase next. Like I've been listening to a lot of Nine Inch Nails. Do you think I could pull it off? Well, that's the problem, sir. See, I just don't think you have it in you to do that kind of music. Well, just hang on there, because I've been working on, just so you know what I'm capable of, here's a little bit of me singing Closer by Nine Inch Nails. I think I really nail the kind of aesthetics of... Oh, Closer. Oh, that's Mrs. Columbo's favorite song. You let me violate you, ba-doo ba-doo ba-doo ba-doo. You let me desecrate you, ba-doo ba-doo ba-doo ba-doo. You let me randy-nate you, ba-doo ba-doo ba-doo ba-doo. Help me randy's bone, you part my insides, ba-doo ba-doo ba-doo. Well, young man, I got to say. Randy won't fuck you like an animal. That's where I was going with that anyway. What do you think, Mr. Columbo? Well, I liked it up until the having sex with animals part. Oh, boy. I don't know what to say. Mrs. Columbo would be shocked to hear something like that. Should I change it to something like, you fucked an animal, doo-doo-doo. oh you an animal oh okay bestiality is illegal in most of the states but you an animal randy I like where you're going with this sir it's very good it's a song about not having sex with animals so I think it is I think that melody might be from somewhere all my work is running together I love when I see a comma, it's just, guys. It's like, enough. We're having fun. This is a comedy stream. It is. Allegedly. Okay, we have one more, and then we'll start playing Assassin's Creed III. This one comes from Commando Crow. Thank you, Commando Crow. Commando Crow, thank you. Commando Crow says, say you're trapped in a satellite in geosynchronous orbit above Delaware. What's the one soup that you bring? so we're trapped specifically above so so being trapped near delaware does that mean that like uh like things from delaware can be sent to like it's like what's from delaware our relation to delaware is like like all I know about delaware is joe biden's from there and and they were the first of the fifty state quarters because they're the first state I know what the Delaware water gap is. I've driven past it a few times, but anyway, I guess, I guess more importantly, if we were stuck on a satellite, what's the one type of soup we would bring? Um, it's really hard. Cause I really like broccoli and cheese soup, like a good broccoli and cheese soup. Uh, but then I'm just thinking how full of farts I would just be all the time. from a broccoli and cheese soup? All that broccoli and cheese. Well, what's your favorite soup, Matt? I love broccoli and cheese soup. I like a good potato and bacon and cheese soup. I like a good lentil. I like a chicken. A good lentil. Does chili count as a soup? I'm going to pretend you didn't ask that. I'm all about some chili. I guess it depends on what type of chili. I mean, there's like the chili you put on chili dogs, which obviously that's not. But like, you know, when you go to like Wendy's and get a chili, that's more soup like, you know. Wendy's chili. Sound off in the chat if you think that chili is a soup. Yeah, Wendy's chili is damn good. Thank you, everyone, for the birthday wishes. I really appreciate it. Thank you, yeah, for the birthday wishes. I hope everyone can join us tomorrow at the Mads are Back because we're doing an all-new show. And our special Q&A guest is none other than Kevin McDonald from the Kids in the Hall. Freaking out, man. I'm freaking out. People are saying that chili is soup adjacent to stew. So a stew and a soup are two separate things is what the chat is saying. Ah, interesting. What is the cutoff between a soup and a stew? We're going to get to the bottom of some things. Maybe we should save these for the Mary Jo language expert. But I'm kind of curious to get to the bottom of stuff now. Well, it's like black bean. They have black beans and then black bean soup. But it's like, it's just black beans. Yeah. What makes it soup? Anyway, this is Assassin's Creed III. I've only beat the very first mission, and now I'm on this mission. Why are you dressed like the evil friar from Hunchback of Notre Dame? Now, this is the Wii U version. This is not the remaster. I think there's a remastered version they just put out on Switch. But I got to say, does this game really need a remaster? It looks great. Are you sure about that? Of course. Forklift Killer says, fun fact, Wendy's Chili is made with end-of-the-day burger meat. All good chili sits around for a hot minute. Like, it's all still healthy to do. Wendy's does a lot of sketchy things, but also every time I get chili from them, it's always, like, the temperature of, like, lava, so I'm pretty sure whatever bacteria there could be in there has been boiled out of existence. Fancy yourself a joker, eh? Can you hear that okay? Is it too loud? Yeah, I can hear that okay. Are we mixed okay? Are we all kind of balanced? Oh, I'm going to have to fight this dude? Fight the receding hairline pirate? Get off me. Oh, hold A. What if he just really wants to be held? I know. Hold me, mister. You know, this is the era of toxic masculinity. This is the only physical contact men were allowed to have with each other until about like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in like, in Matt me, bro. Is that Popeye standing between you and the guy? Popeye versus Assassin Creed. Who would win? I'm just going to keep doing that one joke from Yeti until the end of time. Thank you to everybody who's bought Yeti so far. Oh my god, yeah. Movies are Dumb, Yeti, Giant of the Twentieth Century is on demand now at dumb-industries.com. Oh, press A once. Oh, I got this guy's knife. Now I'm going to stab him. What's all this then? What's all this then? What's above over here? Uh... Checking the chat. Dan Wally says soup should have a thinner broth. Okay, I accept that. He has your stupid knife. George Washington just kicked that guy's ass. I think it's literally been like thirteen years since I've played this. Is that how old the Wii U is? Yeah. Wow. I think it came out in twenty eleven, twenty. Oh, really? Wow. And it's clear your crew has no respect because the switch came out like not long after. Switch was like two thousand seven, two thousand eight, something like that. In fact, the switch now. Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. The way I meant to say the way. Yeah, I had to. I suspect some of the men had an aneurysm. Don't mind me. I think one of the reasons I got this game is because I had just gotten a three-D TV and this is one of the few Nintendo Wii U games that you can play in three-D on a three-D TV. Oh. I played it once and it gave me a headache, so. One of these days, I've still got to watch all those three-D Blu-rays I have over at your place so I can finally say I've watched them once. Didn't we watch, like, Creature from the Black Lagoon? Yeah, that was cool. Which the fact that was three was like all that movie had going for it. We're going to hang out in person. Remember that? I still have a Christmas present for you. I need to give you because I don't think I've seen you. I've got a birthday. I got July. I have three birthday gifts I got to give you. Past years. Good day. Keep drifting in the background. I'm doing like the Homer Simpson. Drifting, drifting. You should get a grass background so that you... So that when I do that all the time during the stream, it looks like it's on purpose and not my smart green screen or whatever Apple concoction I'm using. Wigging out. Wigging out. Wigging out. Bugging out. Bugging out. I like that. But yeah, I went up to Rhode Island to visit Inga this weekend and we saw him a theater. I included a little clip from PBS of it in the pre show for Jackie's class. But there's an entire documentary about this guy who made a secret apartment in the Providence Mall. There's like this giant mall in Providence, and this guy just like furnished a full apartment and lived there for like four years. It's kind of like a like an art statement, kind of. It was like him and a bunch of other people. But I think toward the end it was just this guy. And, yeah, it was, like, this weird series of crawl spaces. And while I was being constructed, he noticed that there was, like, this little just, like, empty area that wasn't being used for anything. And, yeah, I just, like, lived in it rent-free for, like, four years. And there's, like, footage of him, like, you know, how they got the furniture all in there. And they're, like, taking it up, like, these ladders that are, like, straight up into ceilings. You know, these, like, giant, like, oak cabinets and stuff. Oh, man. Oh, well... It's very good. What is it called? It's called Secret Mall Apartment, I think. Jesse Eisenberg randomly is the producer of it. Weird. But yeah, that was kind of fun to see in the city where it happened. There was actually a showing of it at the very mall where it happened, but we went to this other movie theater that was kind of like it was it it's not like an alamo draft house where you eat and watch the movie but there were like tables kind of like set up it was like a restaurant movie kind of played at like one end so it was where I oddly enough had chili so yes lazulius tying it all back hider in the mall starting very busy have you ever seen phantom phantom of the mall eric's revenge I think it's called That name sounds familiar. I don't think I've seen it, though. I watched it on, like, Joe Bob a few years ago. It's nuts. I thought randomly for a second you were about to bring up Phantom of the Megaplex, a Disney Channel original movie in the two thousands, which was like, what if the Phantom of the Opera happened in a movie theater? And also Mickey Rooney was in it at like eighty something years old. Oh, my God. I thought I want to watch. It's on Disney Plus. Mr. Kenway. Captain, why? Whatever they're up to, I believe it's coming to a head. Like, seriously though, they remastered this. What did they remaster? Like, it still looks like... Like, maybe the textures made them a little less rubbery, but I kind of think the fact that it's, like, slightly cartoony makes it, like, better looking. Because we're almost with, like, the PSV getting to that real uncanny valley kind of place where it's, like, so realistic. It's kind of like, it's got that Polar Express kind of quality to it, you know? Yeah, totally. Pixar really has the quality thing figured out, and Nintendo, where they look like the textures look really nice and high quality, but they still... You just reminded me. We watched Toy Story four over the weekend. Yeah. That movie's great. It's a good movie. People are... They just love that third one so much. And I get it. I think that's what it is, because, yeah, I remember a lot of people, like, poo-pooing the fourth one I watched, and I'm like, it's still a great movie. It's just that that third one felt like a real ending and has, like, some real big moments, and the fourth one doesn't have those. But it's still a pretty good movie. It definitely could have ended with three, and I'd be satisfied. But I like the fourth one. But that was the movie that made me think. Because the quality of that one looks so good. There's shots in that antique store where there's light going through the windows, and you can see the dust drifting through the light beams. There's a cat at one point. You can see every hair on it. Compare that to, like, the dog in the first Toy Story that looks, like, so derpy. So I'm like, instead of making those live-action Disney remakes that nobody likes, they need to just do, like, you know, when they remaster a video game, like Assassin's Creed, just remaster the first Toy Story. Like, don't change anything about it. Just make all the grass look a little nicer and all the textures look a little nicer and the dog look like a dog. I just saw Ben Dale in the chat said, I feel like I'm the only Toy Story III hater in the world. wow well make your case in the chat we'll tell you if you're right or wrong it's definitely it feels emotionally manipulative and I don't care for that in any movie where you're just watching it and you're like I'm crying but I feel like the movie is intentionally just poking at that The toys nearly go to toy hell at one point, basically, toward the end. It's so sad. I'm like, are they going to burn the toys alive? I think about that scene. I think about that scene. It gives me chills. Like, I just thought I hadn't thought about that before. They're all, like, holding hands, going into the incinerator. I'm like, they're about to murder these toys. This movie is about to kill them. It's got the, like, I think I stood up in the theater at the reveal, you know, at the end of that. which I don't want to spoil in case no one's seen a movie if someone hasn't seen a twenty-year-old movie Toy Story II is great, too. Don't forget that. They're all great. There are a couple Pixar movies that are kind of mediocre. I know people didn't care for the Cars sequel or Planes. I've never seen any of those. The Cars and Planes movies, I've never watched them. I don't think anyone our age did. But their track record is better than regular Disney at this point. Who, Pixar? Pixar, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean... Pixar, there's a guarantee of a certain kind of quality. Even if the movie's not great, it's like they have certain standards that... Yeah. Well, it seems like they probably do. I don't know anything. But it feels like they're not quite as rushed as some other things you see where the CG is slapped on. It feels like they really take their time with it. Take care where you tread. The deck hides all manner of danger in the dark. I keep saying when the MCU burns out, just give Marvel to Pixar and just turn out just some really quality. I know. Well, for the longest time, people were like, The Incredibles is the best Fantastic Four movie that Marvel never made. Which it is. Yeah, now they have stuff like Into the Spider-Verse. I'm just thinking of a Fantastic Four movie that looks like Jack Kirby Fantastic Four, but done by Pixar, you know? or like an X-Men movie that looks like seventies X-Men and they're all in their goofy seventies costumes and it's, but it's like done really, you know. I think we talked about this. I have like nine things I talk about. Oh, no, no, no. I was going to say, I think we talked about the new Spider-Man TV show, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. I watched some of it, and the animation is absolutely amazing. It's pretty good. I just love the style of it. It's just so Steve Ditko-ish. It's good, but it definitely has that like X-Men ninety seven thing where like it's it's it's good, but there's like there's like a cheapness about it. I can't put my finger on. Maybe that's just me in the back of my head going. This is like a streaming series, but like it's like we watch X-Men ninety seven and the action scenes are great and it cuts to the talking scenes and it looks like an episode of like Archer and everybody looks kind of weird and. And they're at least spending their money in the right places, those big action scenes. But yeah, like when Gambit's talking to someone in the kitchen and they look just so goofy. Yeah. I'm just switching our game category to Assassin's Creed III. Danny says, do y'all know Toy Story nearly never happened because it got deleted. The entire movie got deleted from their drives. What? The first one? No, the second one. I've heard that story, too, where, like, yeah, something happened at Pixar and, like, some fuck-up happened and the entire movie got deleted off their hard drives. And luckily there was one animator who was working from home because she was on maternity leave and she had a backup of the movie. And if that one lady hadn't been working from home, the entire movie would have been deleted. Oh, my God. Like pretty close to completion. That is nuts. What's also neat to look up, I don't remember quite what the plot was, but there was a brief moment where Disney and Pixar were kind of like having a dispute with each other. And Disney has the rights to Toy Story, I guess, as part of their agreement. So there was a brief moment when Disney was going to do a Toy Story without Pixar. Yeah. And the story was completely different from what they wound up doing once Pixar came back. Right. And I think it was just going to be two D animated and straight to video. James Mills. There's like concept art floating around, but yeah, I can tell the barrel service markers. They did do that Buzz Lightyear TV show that was animated as Patrick Warburton is Buzz Lightyear. But that takes place outside of, like, Toy Story continuity, right? Well, yeah, it's like the show that, like, the Buzz figure is based on. Right. I never saw Lightyear, but that's supposed to be it. I didn't either. That was the movie where everybody was complaining that they were trying to, like, write Tim Allen out of Disney stuff, and then they turned around and gave him, like, that stupid Santa Claus show, and none of the conservative reactionaries had shit to say. I'm like, where are you now? I have such a... kind of conflicting view of Tim Allen because I know he's a total garbage person. Nobody has anything nice to say working with him or anything. At the same time, though, I love his Buzz Lightyear and I love the first Santa Claus movie. I loved Home Improvement as a kid. I don't like it now. Did you like Jungle to Jungle? yes I did like jungle to jungle there was a brief movie in the nineties where if you just needed like a divorced dad for something you called tim allen like he played a great like divorced dad who was too preoccupied with his work did you think you could escape from because that's who he is in jungle to jungle that's who he is and that's just who he is in person yeah Tim Allen should have been in Hook. That would have been the trifecta. I don't understand his whole stand-up act. He probably hasn't done stand-up in like thirty years. But yeah, the whole... There was a time in the eighties when you could just make noises and you could have a whole career from that. Yes. It's like Howie Mandel. When you look at how he got his star, he was blowing up surgical gloves with his head on stage. Oh, Mandel says Galaxy Quest, too, which I've still never seen, but I know you're a big fan. Oh, that's a great movie. Even if you're not a fan of Star Trek at all, Galaxy Quest is wonderful. It's basically the What If the Three Amigos, but with the cast of Star Trek as a movie. Yes. Oh, is this guy fighting me? Yeah, take that, biatch. I actually need to watch Galaxy Quest again. I started doing a Star Trek rewatch, and that would be a good kind of prelude before I get too deeper into it. Stab him. Cut his head off. Chop off his balls. Leah Hagen says, possibly the best Star Trek movie. I would agree with that. That's what everyone says. It's a good one. They should do another Assassin's Creed, but with Tim Allen. I'm here to kill you, Tim Allen. Or it'll be a movie where Tim Allen spooks the Assassin Creed snooping on the side of a building, and then the Assassin Creed disappears, his clothes are left behind, and Tim Allen puts on the hat, and thus becoming the Assassin Creed, like what Santa Claus rules. I like the idea of... Do you think Tim Allen and Tom Hanks have ever been in the same room together? For like press stuff, I'm sure. Like press interviews and junkets and things. Oh, Penguin says the new Assassin's Creed is in Japan. That sounds cool. Nice. Like feudal Japan or whatever. games like this always remind me of like they need to make a shooter game where you you load guns like you would have back in the day you know when it took you like like ten minutes to reload your gun in between shots I would love for there to be like a like a first person shooter like a like a gold knight type game where you hunt each other but what am I doing he's jumping what happened assassin creed will make you jump jump Uh, let's see. Come on back through here. But yes, I've started rewatching. I've started a Star Trek rewatch on two different fronts. I'm rewatching it in release order with Inga, beginning with TOS, so we're a couple episodes into that, the original Star Trek, and then on my own because I'm a giant dork. I've started a chronological rewatch, beginning with Enterprise, one of the worst Star Trek series, starring Scott Bakula. And it's rough. But weirdly, I still prefer it to most of the newer stuff. Jeffrey Combs is a solid character actor when he shows up. Oh, I love Jeffrey Combs. Jeffrey Combs, one of his best Star Trek characters is weirdly in Star Trek Enterprise. Oh, really? He plays an Andorian named Shran in his whole... I guess it's minor spoilers, but none of you are going to watch Enterprise if you haven't already. He plays a character where, like, basically... Captain Archer played by Scott Bakula like does his people a favor and he's so pissed off that he that he like owes somebody something that he starts stalking the Enterprise and at the first sign that they get in trouble he rescues them back because he just can't handle that this debt is kind of like he can't handle that like somebody helped him out and he needs to like repay them somehow so he's like I've rescued you we're even now and he's like upset it's like oh no don't jump off the boat it's very scary People ask me why I don't ever want to go on cruises. And it's like, because I don't want to be trapped in something like this. This looks like my biggest nightmare right here. See, it's scary. Yes. That's like there was a... uh the the girlfriend of the lead singer of faster pussycat there's one of those like eighties cruises where faster pussycat was there and like uh and the lead singer and his girlfriend got into a fight on the back deck and she was drunk and she fell overboard and they couldn't find her again and that's and it was like late at night too I'm like that that is I think that's the worst way to die natalie wood situation like that's the worst way to die it's just late at night you're in the ocean alone the boat you were on is just going into the horizon and you know they'll never see you in time you can't see anything around you it's pitch dark it's cold yeah you'll never get me on a cruise it ain't gonna happen I used to like being on speed boats and jet skis and things until I nearly got lost in the Bermuda Triangle for real. Yes, that's one of the nine things you've told us. That's one of the nine things I tell all of you. I have nine cool stories that happened in my life. Bermuda Triangle thing, Matt Werner Herzog. Oh, yeah. Lloyd Kaufman. Matt has nine cool stories. I'm like a doll. You pull the thing on the back of its head. You've got more like nineteen or something. You've got like eleven good stories. The time I saw a little Ozzy while on acid. Oh, yeah. That was a good one. The time I went to Coney Island while I was on mushrooms. That was wild. Uh, let's see. I guess the storm's over. Oi! I'm just consulting the chat. Yeah, and also don't forget the poll for the group game is pinned both Twitch and in the Super Club. What do I have to do? al canoxa's enterprise was a trial to watch yeah I re-watched it once years ago and I remember the first two seasons are basically like star trek voyager levels of goofiness it's not the best trek but it's not the worst in season three they tried to go full deep space nine with like the long story arcs and the the grim dark like you know we're we're gonna have to do like dark shit occasionally for good and That didn't work, so then the fourth season, they just leaned into fan service and they were like, here's Klingons, here's Brent Spiner as Data Ancestor. The Enterprise looks like the Enterprise now. Someone else is mentioning the Christian theme song. Yeah, Chris, if you haven't looked up the theme song to Star Trek Enterprise, you definitely should, because it has a theme song with words. There's lyrics? Really? There's lyrics. It's like the Seventh Heaven theme song. It's like on that level, but it's the theme song to a Star Trek show. Oh, my God. I watched the documentary about that guy from Seventh Heaven. Yeah. Also from Star Trek. But yeah, the dad who was... Yeah. They caught him on tape saying just like... Oh, wow. That was just the intro. really wow that was that's like one of those movies that we watch and joke about on the you know like our watch alongs where like the opening credits go on for like a third of the movie and yeah why are you perched like you're batman Ryan from Canada says it's also the theme song to Patch Adams. That's interesting. I don't know if I've ever sat down and watched Patch Adams intentionally. I feel like that's one of those movies I've just seen in pieces on TNT over the years. I don't think anyone has. Don't get me wrong. I love Robin Williams. Yeah, that's from my favorite era of Robin Williams movie, where it's like he would make these drama movies, but then the trailers would all be cut to make them seem like quirky comedies. And then you get a few of those because like Patch Adams was one where you watch the trailers, you're like like Robin Williams, a wacky doctor, and you're watching like, actually he's being wacky because he's dealing with children and people who have like very serious ailments or like a bicentennial man robin williams wacky robot like actually this is a meditation on mortality and how how much it would suck to watch everybody you know get old and die it's also it was one of his later not well yeah jack but there was one of his he's a big kid actually he has a disease and it's really bad There was one of his later ones where he played a Jon Stewart type of political comedian. Oh, like Man of the Year? Yeah, but it was like... If Jon Stewart ran for president and won, what would happen? But it's like a political thriller. It's not a comedy the way they promoted it. Yeah, that's a whole thing with him. It's like, yeah, people don't want to promote his dramas as dramas. And that's not a problem with him or the movie. I remember as a kid, though, it was specifically being so bummed about Bicentennial Man, like me and my cousins going to see the Wacky Robot movie. Oh. And all the funny stuff is in the trailer. Isn't it based on like an Asimov story? You know what I watched over the weekend? Speaking of sci-fi movies based on sci-fi novels, Total Recall, the original. Ooh, great choice. That movie is... That might be one of my all-time favorites. It's just so good. Yeah, eighties Verhoeven, he was on some next level shit. That was like, ninety even, nineteen ninety. Oh yeah, it was nineteen ninety, you're right. It's that era right before grunge started in the nineties that still kind of feels like the eighties a lot. But yeah, it's so fucking violent and great and trippy. I rewatched the original RoboCop not too long ago with Inga. RoboCop is great. RoboCop is one of my favorite endings when he just walks through and he just shoots that guy out the window and then the other guy gives him a thumbs up and then RoboCop just walks out of the room and it's like, the end! And I'm like, perfect ending. A+. You did it again, Paul Verhoeven. I need to rewatch Starship Troopers again. I remember that being one of those movies I didn't really give a shot when it came out. Oh, Starship Troopers is great. I saw that in a theater when it came out. I've definitely seen it before, but I need to watch it again now that my mindset's a little different. It's like when I watched Gremlins II for the first time and I hated it, but then I got older and watched it again, and I was like, oh, this is actually kind of great. What are these kids? Get away. Lisa, I want some more. How do I just swipe away? Get out of here. People are saying Black Book by him is a good one. I like just bumping into people and starting shit. Yeah. What about it? Fuck shit up. What about it? Just one of those days when you don't want to wake up. Oh, that was a movie we watched recently. Y-to-K. Oh. The Kyle Mooney movie. Yeah. With Fred Durst in it. It's all about the he said, she said. But yeah, Fred Durst plays himself in it. I need to do my Fred Durst more. I love his whiny rap. Every time I hear My Way, all I can think of is that it sounds like a little kid who's complaining about having to go to bed early. This time I'ma let it all come out. This time I'ma stand up and shout. I'ma do things my way. What do you want? play a game all right watching all you like interacting with all these people in old timey land reminds me that I've I've got some uh some switch gift cards uh uh part of my birthday from from from my girlfriend thank you and uh I think I'm gonna download red dead redemption soon uh chris recommends me do that I'm still I'm still thinking on it because I'm not the Not that I'm not a big country western person. I just don't know how much I'll get out of a country western video game. But everybody seems to think it's really good. So I think I'll do that. We'll probably do that as a stream in the future. I don't want to play this. I want to run around and get a horse or something. Penguins. Ninety one. Ninety two says I watched that Tetris movie over the weekend. I did enjoy it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a movie about the guy that invented Tetris. Are we just going to turn every story ever into a movie at this point? Yes. There's going to be a movie about the forming of dumb industries and it's going to be the most boring movie. This is going to be me at a laptop. There's a movie about the founding of Flaming Hot Cheetos. Pop tart. Because I am. It's so insane. What's happened? I'm surprised. Like, I think the last biopic that should ever be made. I'm surprised there's not one about Fleetwood Mac yet. I guess we're just waiting on a few more of them to die, but that's got to happen. This is an ordinary book. It's an almanac. It's pretty specifically a Stevie Nicks, Lindsey Buckingham movie because because the your blow Joe public's not going to give a shit about Peter Green. Oh, J-Post has a movie about Matt's colonoscopy. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. The first half of the movie is me just having a mental breakdown in my home for months and months as I'm just afraid I'm dying, and then... David Pinkston says, Dumb Industries, the triumph of COVID. That's a great title. The triumph of the ill. So you get to play as Ben Franklin. There's a video game, a Grand Theft Auto game, where you're just like a drunk Ben Franklin out on the streets of Philadelphia, just like chasing after prostitutes, and you can like punch people on the street. You kick a kid in the groin, you're like, I invented the vi-focals, bitch, and then you run away. I still can't get over how much you look like Frollo from the back. Yeah, it's weird. We'll play this for like five more minutes and then we'll move on to our game. And maybe we'll do another Assassin's Creed and I'll play some more through this summer. Sword and a Pistol. Yeah, Matt, it's a modern time. It's just a guy in a Ben Franklin's outfit. Okay. I'm not keeping up with the plot of this very well at all, as you can see. I know you fought some pirate-looking men and... Bought a sword. You bought a sword. And then you ran around as this guy for a while. Oh, I got a nice old school pistol here. Take me a year to load. K-Bird toasts. Yeah, Ben will be racking up the prostit points but not interested in car or carriage theft. Yeah, give us a Grand Theft Pennsylvania where you're just an unhinged Ben Franklin on the streets just... Ooh, I get to get on a horse. Did you know I've been at the library? Smack! And the volunteer fire department. Bang, bang. Or like a Paul Revere video game where you get to personally ride through the streets and yell that the British are coming. Ooh, there's a dog. Let's just turn the whole Boston Tea Party into a game. I think we should turn more of American history into violent video games as long as it's accurate. Right. There should be like a bubonic plague video game. Ooh, yeah. Avoid the plague. Or they should do like an Oregon Trail, but it's like this. Yeah. You get to be like an early settler. Oh, I just ran over that lady. You get to live in Jamestown in the mid-seventeen hundreds and experience what, like, cholera is. I mean, if you showed this game to anyone, like, you know, in the nineties, it would blow their goddamn mind. Oh, I thought you were about to say if you showed this game to anybody from colonial era. Oh, they'd be like, nope, horses, they don't shit that much. It's like the script I want to write where I go back in time and I take Mary Shelley to the present and show her what Frankenstein has become in our collective consciousness. Like I just take Mary Shelley to a party city and show her like a Frankenstein wall of decoration. Like that's, that's your guy, Mary. You wrote that. She'd be like, he said, Glenis Creed. Yeah. That'd be a great name for it. Glenis Creed. That sounds like a, like a bad guy from like a, like a mafia boss from an early Batman story. I'm going to have to play through this entire game now. Once I start a game like this, I just... Once you pop the fun, don't stop, Chris. Exactly. Pringles knew it back in the nineties. Danny says the woman's a bit much. Oi there, love. Would you like a meat pie? Well, how about a snog at my bosoms then? Only privacy. follow charles lee charles lee ray is this chucky this is the chucky origin story oh chucky and colonial era they haven't done they haven't done time travel chucky yet that needs to someone get don mancini on the phone I have a pitch for him something tells me he'd be all about that he wants to do chucky in space I did hear that and that would that would rock It's been far too long. Chucky gets on the Blue Origin rocket with Katy Perry. What? You mean the trip's already over? You spent trillions of our tax dollars on this? This is why my Medicaid got canceled? Oh, Rushmore Yankee. I would love to see a Chucky meets Leprechaun movie. Oh, that's a good crossover. That'd be a good matchup. But there's a clear... One of them is clearly better than the other. One is benefiting more from that partnership than the other. And it's not Chucky. Leprechaun in the Hood stars the guy who plays Ensign Meriwether in Star Trek Enterprise. Isn't Ice-T in that one, too? Or is that back to the Hood? That might be back to the Hood. Charles? Sir? which is actually Leprechaun seven. Because there's Leprechaun fours when he went to space. So then five is in the hood. And so I guess, and then back to the hood. So it would be the sixth one. I don't think there are any others between them. It's confusing. All right. What do you say we move on to our group game? I think that sounds like a splendid idea. And let's see. We put a poll in the chat. We asked which Jackbox game you wanted to play. Whatcha, whatcha, whatcha want? Wait, why is... Oh, I gotta remove that. Put that on. Bah! Bah! There we go. So, the options were Quiplash, Gaspionage, Rift Tracks, or Trivia Murder Party. I'm gonna pick a winner. Whatever's in the top spot. Oh, Trivia Murder Party by one vote. I can dig it. I like that one. There's a hundred and fourteen of you watching. We're all... Everybody's just real chill and they're just like, whatever's cool with you, man. I saw a Reddit thread where someone was saying that they were watching a Twitch stream where The hosts started going after people in the chat for lurking. They were like, we see you. We see you're watching, but you're not commenting. It's like, yeah, some people just want to watch. Chatting is not a requirement for our streams, just putting that out there. I would rather people be lurkers than some people who are too familiar. where you're like, we know each other for this from the stream, but we don't like know each other. Know each other. All right. I got to just I got to swap out my Wii U for my switch. We will. OK, I'll be over here vamping for a second. Yes. Vamp. Vamp for a second. Yeah, so it was my birthday this weekend trying to think of what else we got into we saw that that movie about the guy that lived in the mall. Oh yeah, we bought some Easter stuff for my nieces. Inga made these very cute little bunny bags for my nieces where it's like it's like a stuffed bunny crochet but it's got like a little back that's like a pouch with like a drawstring on it. Filled those up with candy. We're going to send those out. Or she already did. I'm not sure. My niece has sent me a very cute video message for my birthday that I'll have to put on Discord or something. It's adorable. They're the best. All right, here we go. Switch. There we go. That was pretty painless. Can you still hear me? Yep, I can hear you. It's pretty painless. You made it sound like it, so you did a very intricate operation. All right, let's see. Checkbox. Shade said, oh, please share with us. I'll see if I can find it in between rounds of this. I might be able to pull it up on my messages app. Messages. I'm having trouble talking. One of these days I'm going to have just like an aneurysm right here on the street. Look, we're on a great week. Working is awesome. We're on a great week. um I agree lurking is totally cool and good I work all the time yeah I lurk on a couple pages yeah like that's everybody has their different interests you know and I have pages where I'm like I like this but I don't well it's also there's only so many communities you can really get involved with like involved with involved with you know yeah like everyone chooses and picks When I'm at one of Emmy's watch parties, I usually just put it up on the TV and watch. I watch the chat on the side, but I'm not sitting there with my phone because I'm watching the movie. I feel like I need to comment more. I'm always there watching on marriage appeal nights and stuff, but part of my enjoyment comes from just watching people react to the crap I made. It's fun sometimes to just make something and just let it go out into the world and watch people react to it without you. I just realized I got to take that off. It's the closest I'll ever come to, to birth in a Babby. So, uh, it's like watching my Babby's go out into the world. All right. Watch your Babby speak for themselves. Everyone head to what? Jackbox.tv. Matt. Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry. I just got, I, wow. I just spaced hard there. Uh, I'm going to put the code in the chat in just a minute. Yes. Yeti. that song is so great that band is so great I've been listening to what happened to the jackbox I've been listening to that band a lot they also did the the song about aliens I put in a different uh jackie pre-show and they do a different song called vampires and they're all just these italo disco songs like are all your songs just italo disco songs about different monsters and cryptids makes me want to make up my own uh radio rama song you know like mothman he's a moth and a man mothman he's a moth and a man are you in jersey devil he's the devil from jersey uh two seconds uh I am in all right putting that code in the chat everyone check it out see how quickly it fills up it always blows my mind and revolt But if you're in the audience, there's still plenty to do. Yes, there's plenty to do. So please head to jackbox.tv, use your phone, your laptop, tablet, enter that room code, UAUF. I think that'll stay on the screen during the game. And let's get to it. Fellas, let's get to it. I'll let the rules play for people who've never played before. They really should have licensed Saw. Like the Saw characters. This is a better Saw video game than I think the real Saw games they made. Wait, they made Saw games? I think they made a Saw game, yeah, like during that last era, that PS II, PS III kind of era, you know, when they were still doing that. Come on, wake up. Wake up. Welcome to Trivia Night, a rolling sea of dark, dark despair. But without all the preachy morality of those other serial killers. How's the volume, everyone? Sounds good. It puts the lotion on the skin, or else it gets the worse again. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck you. If you do badly in the minigame, I'll kill you. But don't worry, Ghost can still win the game. When one player is left alive, we'll go to the final round, where the living dead... Ghost can still win the game, just like the US Senate. Oh, and hey, look, we've got an audience playing along too. At the end of the game, if the audience has less money than the player who wins, everyone in the audience dies. It's like they're sitting in the splash zone, but instead of water, it's death. Am I over explaining this? The last group is super dumb. Let's just get into it. Dumb, get it? It's us. Oh, how did they know? Here's the first question. As you can tell by the cheap shackles, I'm a bit of a bargain shopper. How much money did the United States pay in the Louisiana Purchase? Oh boy. How am I supposed to know this? I just went with the lowest one. Probably right. Because that fifteen million back in Louisiana purchase days had to have been like a crazy amount. And the correct answer is... Baboom. Baboom. The rest of you, come with me. Great. He's gonna make us cut off one of our fingers now. This feels like the Bill Cosby game we're playing. Whenever we get to this part, I start thinking about The Last Crusade and how much I love that movie. The Penitent Man. Penitent. Penitent. You have chosen. Risely. Risely? Risely. Hurry up. It's not Sophie's choice, unless your name is Sophie, which it probably isn't. Have you ever seen Sophie's Choice? It's a rather dark movie for how casually people are like, this is a real Sophie's Choice, these two restaurants. Yeah. People overlook what the choice is. It's like when people reference Deliverance, it's like, have you seen Deliverance lately? This is my favorite part. People try to play the cranberry zombie at Halloween parties. Good stuff. Now let's see what everyone drank. Which one did you choose, Chris? No one drank any poison? That's not fair. I didn't get poison. Oh, that's good. I think I chose seven. I intentionally chose the skull cup because I was hoping to reverse psychology someone who was like, well... Wow. Good work, audience. What color is Manhattan clam chowder? I don't see jizz color in here, so I'm not sure which to... Is that the red or the white? I think it's white. I don't eat that stuff. I don't either. Chowder. Chowder. It's chowder. I don't know if I'd want to know what Manhattan clam chowder... I don't know if I'd want to know what clam chowder tastes like anywhere, but if I'm going to eat it anywhere, I'm going to go to, like, you know, Massachusetts. And the correct answer is... This. Shit. Oh. I went white, too. The rest of you, prepare for your punishment. I don't know my clams. Same problem I had in college. Let me ask you a question. Answer very carefully. Where's the best place to go on vacation? Type an answer on your device and press send when you're finished. Ah! Hang on. Alkanoc says clams are tasty. I don't believe you. I want you to pick the answer that you hate the most. Whoever wrote the answer with the most votes dies. Klitzberg. Oh my god. Nice. Arkansas. Pick the worst answer. No! The Diarrhea Planet. It really evokes the imagination. Diarrhea Planet sounds like an industrial band from the late nineties. It's a real band. They're great too. Is it really? Yes. Wow. I was just joking. Yay. I kind of like it, but the people have spoken. You did. Uh-oh, looks like somebody's a ghosty ghost. But trivia's not just for those drawing breath. Keep playing and you might just rejoin the living. Death is not the end. For that one, I always get mixed up on if you want people to vote for you or you don't want people to vote for you, so I always just try to write the most lukewarm, middle-of-the-road answer if I get that one and hope I get lost in the shuffle. Let's try another one. Little Monsters is the nickname of which musician's fanbase? Sadly, I know this. I think I know this. I think. I'm a straight person, but I also did theater in the two thousand in the twenty tens. So, you know. Little Monsters, that was the name of that Howie Mandel movie with with Fred Savage in it. Who picked? This one? Baboom. Yes. A-E-A-G-Forty-Six, head to, uh, jackbox.tv. Enter that room code in the bottom right corner. U-A-U-A. I think all the spots are filled, but you can still join the audience. No, I hate this. I always say the best option to go with here is either the very last one or the very first one. I just saw a movie where someone cut someone's finger. Oh, Heretic with Hugh Grant. I always think about, did you ever see that Saturday Night Live sketch where Chris Farley's on the Japanese game show? Yes, Janine Garofalo. They're all cutting their fingers off. It's so funny. Yes, Danny, I really liked Heretic. Watch it. It's on Max. Good horror movie. Is that the Hugh Grant one? Yeah, Hugh Grant is an evil dude. He's so good in it. think I know this I think I do too but I think I may have up actually the year five thousand says in the balls Who said? This one. Oh shit. Oh, I thought it was gallbladder. Why did I think that? But then right after I picked that, I'm like, wait, people have their gallbladders taken out though. And it feels like if you just stop making bio, that would be an issue. So I knew I fucked up right away. But then I said I would have just explained. So that would have been something wrong. Just ignore any blood on the letters. I'm going to hurt the person with the shortest word. Okay, so we want to make the longest word. We've pretty much started, so don't twaddle. Oh. The letters don't have to touch each other, and remember to press submit when you're done. I can't even... I'm usually pretty good at this, I can't... ...see anything. Okay. I feel pretty good about my choice. Watch like four other people. You're almost out of time. I feel like I picked a pretty obvious word for those. Ooh, let's see what you get there. Wow. Moodier. Good one. Oh, bewilder. Good one. Nice. Good job, everybody. We have a real... real literate crowd tonight scoreboard time is a good time to relax let the tensions of the game drift away and just reconnect with who I'm doing terrible in this game I just realized enjoy this time I'm just happy to still be alive at this point usually I've died like four hours ago here's another one dead I scoff every time your place in this game really doesn't matter to like the end anyway I mean are they not cultured What do you call the eight-fluid-ounce cup size that's just below a tall at Starbucks? Oh, shit. This I know. Oh. Starbucks enough to know this shit. Sounds right. Uh, actually, I don't know this, but... I know it's not one of these, because it's the topic of hack jokes for a million years. When you go to Starbucks, you can't just say you want a large or a small. Gotta say you want a venti or a grande. Who picked this? Not me. I picked single. That's what I picked. Let's go someplace fun. I'm out, I think. I think I'm out of the game. Well, it's not over until it's over. I'll go first. Eight. Now I need an assistant. How about you? In order to live, should they roll higher or lower? You can make it as hard or as easy as you want. What the fuck? What are we, like, kids in the Great Depression? Whoa, that's not easy. What did they ever do to you? Roll lower than me or you die. Well. Bad rule. And we're all dead. We're still alive, Chris. No, I died. Oh. Wow. He's still alive. JPo and Razor's Edge. This is a toughie. This is a little toughie we got going on tonight. Life is unfair. Uh, sixty-nine. One of those answers is going to make me so depressed. I hope. I'm right. I guess it doesn't matter for me at this point as I'm just going for it. I know. Who said this one? Hey, I did say that one. Let's play a game. They're giving money to dead people in this game. Someone get Elon Musk and Doge down here. There's blood all over this art, and it was really expensive. Oh, I hate this one. The blood, I mean. Memorize the pattern of blood. Oh, this one's hard. That is a tough pattern. That's a really tough one. Most of them, there's like a basic kind of shape you can blob out. You gotta try to burn it into your retina. Yeah. To get burned in like an OLED monitor into your eyeballs. That's a plot point of Severance Season Two, actually. Really? He's trying to... Send a message to the guy on the inside. It's up to you guys. Jay Poe, Razor's Edge. I've also been rewatching Baywatch this weekend. We began rewatching Baywatch from season one again. Whoa. Again? Wonderful show. Well, I don't think I've seen like all of it all the way through, but I've definitely seen the first couple seasons. I don't think anyone has. You're almost out of time. It's wonderful. I know you're a fan of the Baywatch Nights, but I'm telling you, just regular plain Jane Baywatch is psychotic. I watched more Baywatch Nights than Baywatch, I'm sure. Oh, my God. Razor's Edge got a hundred. Did you take a picture? Be honest. You got to do what you can to stay alive in these streets. The whittling down to just one player has finally come to fruition. Let's do this. Ew, don't say it like that. Well, look who's still alive. And you just have to escape with your body. I'm going to give you a category. Marsupials. Tap on each answer that fits, then press submit. Let's see the right answers. Zappa's asking why, Matt. Early Baywatch is great. David Spade is in an early episode of Baywatch. Whoa. Yeah. Your body. I'm in love with your body. Wow. Definitely you. Definitely you. I have no idea. I'm just guessing. I learned this from the snake guy that we've talked about before, who came to our library when I was a child. Oh! How bad would it even sound like a real snake? This is the worst. it's like uh that kind of like a little chewy like I think three musketeer bars and like snickers have them it kind of gives them that kind of like like puffy quality yeah yeah you get Makes you feel like you're eating, like, a Tempur-Pedic mattress. Oh, none of them? None of them. Wow. I am sucking hard. I'm about to be taken by the darkness. Uh... I'm so screwed. Wow, I have been playing, like, ass tonight. tonight tonight well yeah well in general I do I don't know some nights I really bring the heat I was bringing it at riff tracks game the other night you're amazing at riff tracks yeah um I think I'm the best at like quick flash that's probably my top game yeah I get it you did well just give it a bit of pop-up Rum based cocktails. I just had one of these. The coconut milk is off. The coconut milk is off. I really don't know. I know one of those for sure. And then I'm pretty sure I chose the right one. I typically don't ask for cocktails by name. If I'm asking for something, I'm just like, could I have a Blah Blah and Blah Blah? Ooh, I suck. Now you're alive! Oh wow, Bekdu, now in the lead. Hurry up! I'm sorry. My anthelma? I do have an anthelma. That's kind of creepy. What are armadillos? They're not reptiles, right? They're mammals, I think. Oh, God. I didn't realize it said male crocodile. God damn it. I don't know. Maybe it's like a seahorse situation. Maybe we'll learn something here. I may have also clicked that. That's like Crocodile. Yes. They come out of pegs. Oh, none of them. How did I still get one somehow? I guess because I didn't choose Anthem. Ooh, this I can answer. Easily. Yes, you've stumbled into one of my five special interests. Just ask me a question about ghost adventures or Star Trek next. M. Bison's a street fighter here. Another life swap. Oh, wow. Forklift took the lead. Hercules' labors. Steal some horses. Just steal some horses. I don't really know much about Hercules. Hercules, Hercules. Isn't Hercules coming to the MCU at some point? Yeah, he's played by that guy from Ted Lasso, isn't he? As according to that one post-credits scene in the Thor movie that no one liked. The darkness approaches. Oh, you're right on the edge, man. Fried dough foods. Fried dough foods. Tell me what the fried dough is. Which of these will stop your heart? Have you ever seen Party Girl starring Parker Posey? Uh, no. It's amazing. She says the word Baba Ganoush like eight thousand times. That's why I bring it up. It's just one of those things where it's like weird, like just a specific word that shows up a lot. Oh! Oh! Did Danny... I'm taking it in the last second. Academy Award for Best Original Song. I don't want to close my eyes. One of these I know for sure, but... Oh, it says we've been disconnected. What? What just happened? Oh, what the fuck? Oh. Oh. Right at the end? Are you kidding me? What happened? Oh, my God. That's... I don't know. I'm glad that's not just me that that... I literally... No, like, the switch just cut it. It just worked out. I don't know what the hell. Wow, that's like... That's like the most blue ball I've ever felt by a video game. I mean, it was like literally just about the end. Well, I think we can call it for Danny then at least. Yeah, Danny had a last minute. We'll call it for Danny. Well done, Danny. A last minute victory. oh all we were basically missing was the the campy you know like maybe my switch just like lost internet or is it still connected I don't want to miss a thing definitely won an award though that's all I want to say I got that right I'm so sorry everyone that I could close my eyes that really stinks well we're giving it to danny congrats danny we're giving it to the boy Oh, I think the server disconnected JPoP. Maybe everyone playing Jackbox games just got disconnected. Yeah, maybe just the server wigged out. That happens sometimes. I'm going to go to Twitter, search Jackbox, see what happens. I also want to remind everyone tomorrow night is The Mads Are Back, a night of springtime shorts. Definitely not going to be up all night getting stuff together for that. No siree. our q a guess is the one and only kevin mcdonald I was showing my niece and nephew some kids in the hall sketches over the weekend and they loved them they got it nice I was like yeah it's just like super really silly stuff kids couldn't kids pick up on kids in the hall they like it yeah good stuff yeah it'll be fun to see And also check out Yeti if you feel like checking out Yeti. Yes. Head to dumb-industries.com slash Yeti. Get the Yeti download. That music up there. everyone loved yeti overwhelmingly positive response for you see razor's edge says it is hilarious yes jackie's going to be giving away this really cool dumb industries glass uh tomorrow night so don't miss that that'll be uh we'll do a giveaway right up top then we'll have more giveaways uh for the post show and think of questions for kevin mcdonald um yeah I just read an article about his experience on that one seinfeld episode that I kind of want to ask him about but I don't know maybe I won't um thanks everyone for hanging out tonight it's been a blast Yes. Oh, and dumb television will resume here in a moment. The schedule might be off a titch with us wrapping up a little early, but we're going to have what I'm calling our ladies night marathon. Matt, you've been killing it with the Twitch schedules lately, I have to say. Not a problem. Yeah, it's fun to come up with them. But yeah, we're going to start off with The Mads Are Back, She Should Have Said No, and then Movie Joe Night Sorority Girl. And it's all going to be lady-centric films from Movie Joe Night and The Mads all night. So check that out and watch that. because uh the the twitch the twitch we get the the revenue from that so you're if you even if you're hanging out and watching us for free on there it's still helping us so it's uh it's good stuff yeah um yeah head to dumb dash industries.com get on our newsletter follow us on blue sky join our discord all that good stuff and uh happy uh birthday matt Yes. And happy early birthday to you too. I always forget. I'm always, I'm always like doing stuff for my birthday and I'm like, oh shit, I got to scramble. Our birthdays are so close together. I know it makes it, it's like. It's easy to forget. It's like, my birthday's coming up. I don't care about anyone else. But I'm the special one. I'm the baby. No, happy early birthday. It'll be good to celebrate that with the Mads and Kevin McDonald and all that stuff. I almost said Michael McDonald for a second. That's a Mads guest we should investigate. That would be a good guest, yes. You don't know me. See you all tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Bye, everyone.